All tagged madness

The Killing Machine

I started hearing it several months ago, just once in a while, always late at night. There were strange loud noises at night. The chug chug of a diesel engine accompanied with strange whirring and grinding, electric humming and buzzing. Clanging, creaking.

What was odd was just how close it sounded. Like there was machinery running right outside the building, maybe even in the building somehow. My building is right near a commercial area. I just assumed one of these businesses was using trucks and heavy machinery at night, and that it sounded closer than it actually was. I had no idea how close to home, and how sinister and evil these sounds actually were until recently.

Migraine Madness

I woke up on September 1st, 2017, and I knew that it was bad. Instinctively. I just had a gut feeling that everything was terrible. My head hurt. I felt nauseated. I am a synesthete, I have sensory processing differences. I have color associations for letters, words, days, and weeks. “September” for me has always been red. So that morning on September the 1st, that morning that was overwhelmingly bad to its core, everytime I saw something that was red, it popped out at me with such intensity that my head started spinning. Everything grew dark. I started to faint, barely catching myself each time.

A Mad Pride Moment: Being Proud of My Self-Harm

I wanted to start out this blog by sharing a brief story that captures what Mad Pride means to me and the transformative power I think it has.

This past week, I was out of town for a family event. I have some large scratch marks across my face, and inevitably a family member asked me what happened. Even though I was super nervous, I managed to calmly and confidently say, “I did it to myself. Sometimes when my emotions get overwhelming, I scratch myself or cut myself and it helps me manage the intensity of how I feel.” I then explained that part of my work is defending people’s rights to do just that.